The Vacuum https://www.thevacuum.org.uk Thu, 11 Apr 2024 12:38:09 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.2 https://www.thevacuum.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/cropped-12993454-32x32.png The Vacuum https://www.thevacuum.org.uk 32 32 European Football Championship Betting History http://www.thevacuum.org.uk/european-football/ http://www.thevacuum.org.uk/european-football/#respond Tue, 02 Apr 2024 10:29:50 +0000 http://www.thevacuum.org.uk/?p=188 euro football betting, has a long and storied history, with fans and punters alike eagerly anticipating the outcomes of each tournament. From the early days of simple wagers to the more sophisticated betting options available today, the European Championships have always been a popular event for placing bets. ]]> Betting on the European Football Championship, or as it’s often referred to, euro football betting, has a long and storied history, with fans and punters alike eagerly anticipating the outcomes of each tournament. From the early days of simple wagers to the more sophisticated betting options available today, the European Championships have always been a popular event for placing bets.

Historical Trends: How Betting on the European Championships Has Evolved

Over the years, the way in which people bet on the European Championships has evolved significantly. In the past, betting was limited to simple win/lose bets, but today punters have a wide range of options to choose from, including over/under bets, handicap bets, and even live betting during matches.

One of the most notable trends in European Championship betting history is the increase in online betting. With the rise of online sportsbooks and betting sites, punters can now place bets from the comfort of their own homes, making it easier than ever to get in on the action.

Another trend in European Championship betting history is the increase in the number of markets available. Punters can now bet on everything from the winner of the tournament to the top goal scorer, providing a wealth of options for those looking to place a wager.

In recent years, the European Championships have also seen a rise in the popularity of in-play betting. Punters can now place bets during matches, with odds changing in real-time based on the action on the field. This has added a new level of excitement to European Championship betting, allowing punters to stay engaged throughout the tournament.

Overall, the evolution of betting on the European Championships has made the tournament even more exciting for fans and punters alike. With a wide range of betting options and the convenience of online betting, the European Championships have become a must-watch event for those looking to add an extra level of excitement to the games.

Conclusion:

The evolution of betting on the European Championships has transformed the way punters engage with the tournament, offering a wide range of options and increasing the overall excitement of the games.

Notable Moments: Memorable Upsets and Surprising Outcomes in Betting History

Throughout the history of the European Championships, there have been many memorable moments that have surprised fans and punters alike. From underdog teams pulling off shocking upsets to unexpected outcomes that have left punters scratching their heads, the European Championships have provided plenty of excitement for those looking to place a wager.

One of the most memorable upsets in European Championship betting history came in 2004 when Greece, a 150/1 outsider, won the tournament against all odds. The team’s victory shocked punters and bookmakers alike, with many writing off Greece’s chances before the tournament began. This unexpected outcome serves as a reminder that in football, anything can happen, making it a thrilling sport to bet on.

Another surprising moment in European Championship betting history came in 2016 when Iceland, a small nation with a population of just over 300,000, reached the quarterfinals of the tournament. Iceland’s success captured the hearts of fans around the world and provided punters with an unexpected underdog to root for.

In addition to these memorable moments, the European Championships have also seen their fair share of surprising outcomes, with favorites falling short and outsiders exceeding expectations. These unexpected twists and turns are what make the European Championships such a thrilling event to bet on, keeping punters on the edge of their seats throughout the tournament.

Conclusion:

The European Championships have provided fans and punters with plenty of memorable moments, from shocking upsets to surprising outcomes, making it a tournament that is always full of excitement and surprises.

In conclusion, the European Football Championship betting history is a fascinating journey through the evolution of how punters engage with the tournament. With a wide range of betting options, unexpected upsets, and surprising outcomes, the European Championships have solidified their place as a must-watch event for both football fans and punters alike. So, whether you’re a seasoned punter or new to the world of sports betting, the European Championships offer a thrilling experience that is sure to keep you on the edge of your seat throughout the tournament.

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The Origins of Gambling: Tracing the Beginnings of Wagering Practices http://www.thevacuum.org.uk/the-origins-of-gambling/ http://www.thevacuum.org.uk/the-origins-of-gambling/#respond Tue, 02 Apr 2024 10:26:33 +0000 http://www.thevacuum.org.uk/?p=189 Gambling has been a part of human civilization for centuries, with a rich history that spans across different cultures and societies. In this article, we will delve into the evolution of wagering practices, explore the early forms of gambling, and trace the origins of the betting culture that we are familiar with today.

Evolution of Wagering Practices

The concept of gambling can be traced back to ancient times when people would engage in various forms of wagering activities. It is believed that the earliest forms of gambling can be found in China where the game of Keno was played around 200 BC. The game involved participants selecting numbers and placing bets on them, with winners receiving a payout based on the numbers drawn.

As civilizations evolved, so did the practices of gambling. In ancient Rome, people would place bets on chariot races and gladiator contests, with huge sums of money exchanging hands. These events not only provided entertainment but also created opportunities for individuals to wager on the outcomes and potentially win big.

Early Forms of Gambling

One of the most well-known early forms of gambling is the game of dice, which has been played for centuries across different cultures. The ancient Greeks and Romans were known to play dice games, with the outcome dependent on the roll of the dice. This simple yet addictive game laid the foundation for modern-day casino games such as craps.

Another popular form of early gambling was betting on sports events. The Greeks were known to place bets on the outcome of the Olympic Games, while the Romans would wager on chariot races and gladiator contests. These early forms of sports betting paved the way for the multibillion-dollar industry that we see today.

Tracing the Origins of Betting Culture

The betting culture that we are familiar with today has its roots in Europe, where organized betting houses started to emerge in the 18th century. The first known bookmaker, Harry Ogden, opened a betting shop in London in 1795, offering odds on horse races and other sporting events. This marked the beginning of the commercialization of gambling and laid the foundation for the modern betting industry.

Over the years, betting practices have evolved with the advent of technology. Today, people can place bets online through various bookmakers and online casinos, making gambling more accessible than ever before. With the rise of mobile technology, individuals can now wager on sports events and casino games from the comfort of their own homes.

In conclusion, the origins of gambling can be traced back to ancient times, with a rich history that has evolved over the centuries. From the game of dice in ancient Rome to the emergence of bookmakers in 18th-century Europe, gambling has become a widespread phenomenon that continues to captivate audiences around the world. While gambling can be a fun and entertaining pastime, it is essential to gamble responsibly and within your means. Remember, the ultimate goal of gambling should be to enhance the enjoyment of watching sports events and not to get rich quick.

So, the next time you place a bet on your favorite team or spin the roulette wheel, take a moment to appreciate the rich history and origins of the betting culture that we are a part of today.

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Uncovering Historical Odds: A Closer Look http://www.thevacuum.org.uk/historical-odds/ http://www.thevacuum.org.uk/historical-odds/#respond Tue, 02 Apr 2024 10:25:06 +0000 http://www.thevacuum.org.uk/?p=190 In the world of sports betting and gambling, historical odds play a crucial role in shaping how we understand and predict outcomes. By looking back at past odds, we can gain valuable insights into the trends and patterns that have emerged over time. This article will delve into the significance of historical odds, analyze their implications, and explore the trends that have emerged from them.

Historical odds are a record of the past betting lines offered by bookmakers for various sporting events. These odds reflect the probability of a particular outcome occurring and are used by bettors to make informed decisions when placing their bets. By examining historical odds, we can uncover valuable information about how bookmakers set their lines, how betting patterns have evolved over time, and how different factors have influenced the odds.

A Detailed Analysis of Historical Odds

One of the key aspects of historical odds is understanding how they are calculated and what factors influence them. Bookmakers use a variety of methods to determine the odds for a particular event, including analyzing past performance, current form, injuries, weather conditions, and other relevant factors. By studying historical odds, bettors can gain a better understanding of how these factors have impacted the odds in the past and how they may affect future outcomes.

Furthermore, historical odds can also reveal trends and patterns that have emerged over time. For example, certain teams may consistently be underdogs at home, or certain players may perform better in specific conditions. By analyzing historical odds, bettors can identify these trends and use them to their advantage when placing their bets. Additionally, historical odds can also provide valuable information about the overall volatility and unpredictability of certain sports or events, helping bettors make more informed decisions.

In conclusion, a detailed analysis of historical odds can provide bettors with valuable insights into the factors that influence betting lines, the trends that have emerged over time, and the overall volatility of certain sports or events. By studying historical odds, bettors can make more informed decisions and increase their chances of success.

Delving Deeper: Examining Historical Odds Trends

When examining historical odds trends, it is important to consider how different factors have influenced the odds over time. For example, changes in regulations, advancements in technology, and shifts in public opinion can all impact the odds offered by bookmakers. By delving deeper into historical odds trends, we can gain a better understanding of how these factors have shaped the betting landscape and how they may continue to do so in the future.

Additionally, examining historical odds trends can also reveal valuable information about the performance of certain teams, players, or events over time. By analyzing how the odds have fluctuated for specific entities, bettors can identify patterns and tendencies that may help them make more informed betting decisions. Furthermore, historical odds trends can also shed light on the overall competitiveness and unpredictability of certain sports or events, guiding bettors on where to place their bets.

In summary, examining historical odds trends can provide valuable insights into the factors that have shaped the betting landscape, the performance of specific entities over time, and the overall competitiveness of certain sports or events. By delving deeper into historical odds trends, bettors can gain a competitive edge and increase their chances of success in the world of sports betting.

In conclusion, historical odds are a valuable resource for bettors looking to gain insights into the factors that influence betting lines, the trends that have emerged over time, and the overall competitiveness of certain sports or events. By analyzing historical odds, bettors can make more informed decisions and increase their chances of success in the ever-evolving world of sports betting. Remember, betting is more about fun and entertainment, so always gamble responsibly and enjoy the thrill of the game.

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What’s he Building in There? http://www.thevacuum.org.uk/issues/issues0120/issue18/is18artwhabui.html http://www.thevacuum.org.uk/issues/issues0120/issue18/is18artwhabui.html#respond Tue, 02 Apr 2024 10:17:38 +0000 http://www.thevacuum.org.uk/?p=182 On the usual haunt around the Charity Shops and thrift Emporiums of the east of Belfast, the Woodstock and Cregagh Roads boast some of the city’s finest outlets. When times are hard or not, rummaging through other people’s (and I have to admit, sometimes dead people’s) cast-offs and unwanted novelty kitchen items is a fine way to spend a Saturday afternoon. These two particular roads share about 8 different Charity Shops, a reflection, perhaps, of East Belfast property prices and the benevolence of the nearby community.

Charity Shops have the twin allure of conveniently being able to get rid of your junk, unwanted books, and clothing, and while you’re at it, being able to buy someone else’s junk, unwanted books, and clothing. The only problem with trawling charity shops is that you might be overcome by a general mustiness in the air, but this aspect can be overlooked by coming across a real bargain find.

It was with these ideas in mind that I set off across town to investigate Quaker Care. There are two charity shops in Belfast run by the Northern Ireland Quaker Service, they are unique in that they are the only two Quaker Charity Shops certainly in Europe and probably the world.

The director of the Quaker Service in Northern Ireland, Mr. Vincent Bent explained that because the charity was beginning to experience a significant shortfall in expenses compared to received donations, they simply had to find a way to raise extra funds to make ends meet. The Quaker Society has certain restrictions on the way they can fundraise; no gambling or events with alcohol makes a simple raffle impossible. So, with not being able to rely solely on Coffee Morning proceeds, the Quaker Service investigated alternative funding possibilities and opened the first Quaker Care Charity Shop on the Lisburn Road in July 1998 and another premises on the Woodstock Road in November 2001.

The Quakers have historically worked with communities and those coming from a background of disadvantage and poverty. Some well-known Quakers have been Joseph Rowntree and George Cadbury, both known for their chocolate manufacturing, their contribution to social reform, and general care and consideration for their workforce. Vincent regards Elizabeth Fry (1780-1845), whose portrait features on the current Bank of England £5 note, a pioneer of prison reform for female inmates and their children at Newgate prison, as an influential figure for the work the Quaker Service does in Northern Ireland.

As well as an ongoing women’s mentoring and counseling program at Quaker Cottage Belfast, The Quaker Service was the first charity to establish a Visitor Centre at a prison in the UK; at The Maze and more recently The Monica Barritt Centre at Maghaberry Prison. The Quaker Service also liaises with prison staff and has influenced prison reform and criminal justice policy in Northern Ireland.

Vincent outlined the importance of the Visitor Centre; ‘the relatives and friends of inmates can get a cup of tea, relax, and collect their thoughts before starting their meeting session. A typical visit often begins by traveling quite long distances by bus, going through complicated security checks, and being loaded on and off minibuses, so the centre helps take a bit of the pressure off a prison visit’. The Quaker service also provides childcare for visitors, which especially helps mothers and reduces negative associations children can attach to visiting their fathers in prison.

Before opening Quaker Care, Vincent consulted the Charity Shops Handbook, a sort of Bible for people who want to start a shop, written by Hilary Bloom. One piece of useful advice she provides is that shop managers should remember that people usually give to a shop that is handy, somewhere close by but also a place where they feel their donation will be valued.

All sorts of people donate to Quaker Care, and a lot of people too; their office corridors stacked up with books, bric-a-brac, and clothing. Sometimes Vincent will sell items deemed to be more valuable on eBay, things he knows will not sell in the shop if they are too high in price.

Both shops carry leaflets and pamphlets detailing the work of the Quaker Service and having volunteers who live locally work in their shops has meant that Quaker Care has quite an informal, relaxed atmosphere, where people usually call in for a chat as well as to buy. What is striking about the Quaker Service is their non-partisan approach, and because of this, they’re able to work with people and communities often in incredibly stressful situations and are perceived only as carers and helpers. They exist in Northern Ireland without being branded one religion or another; they are simply The Quakers.

So, the next time you’re unwrapping your Dairy Milk, why not think about popping along to Quaker Care, you might just find something you’ve always been looking for.

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Facial Fashions http://www.thevacuum.org.uk/issues/issues0120/issue17/is17artfacfas.html http://www.thevacuum.org.uk/issues/issues0120/issue17/is17artfacfas.html#respond Tue, 02 Apr 2024 10:15:20 +0000 http://www.thevacuum.org.uk/?p=178 Facial hair and fashion have had a longstanding relationship. Throughout the history of Western civilization, this has had its ups and downs, but like all the best couples, they always seem to wind up back together. Of course, for much of Western history, the word ‘fashion’ has been something of an acronym for ‘normal’ or ‘step out of line and you’ll die’, with religious or regal leaders generally setting the trends.

For the ancient Egyptians, who obsessively recorded their habits and rituals for posterity, body hair was considered positively bestial. However, a beard was something of a status symbol. Kings would grow large square beards which they would then braid, perfume, and dust with gold. In other words, they behaved like girls. This gender reversal (at least by modern standards) worked both ways: around 1480 BC, Queen Hatshepsut liked to strap on a long, plaited, false beard. Never one to scrimp when it came to showing who was boss, it was made from gold and silver. How long she managed to wear it for without severely damaging her posture is sadly unknown.

The first sideburns can probably be attributed to the Hittites, who around 400 BC would shave their beards, eyebrows, moustaches, and the areas above the ears, but carefully braided their long side-whiskers. Uriah, a well-known Hittite, was killed by soldiers of Hanum, King of the Ammonites. When Hebrew ambassadors were sent to meet with Hanum, he ordered half of their beards to be removed. This insult was nothing less than an act of war, and King David wasted no time in slaughtering the Ammonites in the name of all things Holy. Let that be a lesson to all you beard-haters out there.

Jews took their instructions on the wearing of beards from Leviticus, which left strict instructions not to ‘mar the corners of thy beard’. Presumably, the confusion over where the corner of a beard is found prompted men to just leave it alone. The forced removal of a Jewish beard is considered a grave insult, as Hanum found out to his cost, and in many paintings, Christ is represented with his beard defiled prior to crucifixion.

While JC lays claim to one of the all-time classics, his followers have, predictably, found it quite difficult to decide what the big man intended for them post-ascension. The number of times the Church reversed its policies on beards is astounding, especially considering it was never actually based on scripture. Still, the arbitrary exercise of power has long been a favorite pastime of holy men, and so we have the teachings of luminaries such as the Abbot of Bellevaux who reasoned that the Holy Spirit ‘moved down from the head to the beard’, which then became white in the afterlife. Since the 16th Century, priests have generally been clean-shaven; and since then, Protestants often chose not to shave, in protest.

Sikhs, Rastafarians, Orthodox Muslims, Orthodox Jews, and the Amish have always observed their religious obligations to wear beards. But outside the confines of religious life, facial fashion was usually dictated by whatever whim one’s monarch was currently indulging. In 1535 Henry VIII, famed for his unique sense of justice, decided to levy taxes on beards (even though he continued to wear one with pride). This was repealed in the 1560s, after Henry had succumbed to syphilis, and so the dilemma of choosing to pay the barber or the government was resolved. Later, beard tax was introduced in Russia by Peter the Great after a visiting noblewoman pointed out the snot dangling from his hairy face.

The French take credit for a number of pointless facial trends. The balding Louis XIII amused himself by cutting his courtiers’ beards down to a mustache and a tuft on the chin, and during the 17th Century, these became thinner in inverse proportion to the size of their ever-growing wigs. When Louis XIV went gray he shaved his off, and (presumably within hours) his court followed suit.

It wasn’t until the 19th Century that facial hair really took off as a fashion statement. The Victorian gent saw beards as natural, wholesome, and even hygienic. Sideburns (named for Colonel Burnside, a dashing if rather ineffective commander in the US Civil War) became longer and more adventurous, and by 1830 had passed the line of the chin. By 1850, shaving was considered plain weird. On the advice of a child named Grace Bedell, presidential candidate Abraham Lincoln grew a beard and promptly stormed the history books. His assassin, John Wilkes Booth, only sported a mustache. Indeed, by the end of the 1800s, the mustache was increasingly seen as the mark of Satan. Fortunately for all concerned, a man named King Camp Gillette patented the first disposable razor blade in 1895, and a new era was born.

At the beginning of the last century, the discovery of bacteria and a moralistic culture saw a period of clean-shavenness creep in, although during the First World War the mustache became a common signifier of one’s rank (and therefore class). The early Hollywood film stars such as Chaplin and Fairbanks wore distinctive furs on their upper lips, but one Chaplin imitator named Adolf Hitler soon killed that trend off.

Post-WW2 the emphasis shifted to individual style and non-conformity, and in bohemian areas like New York’s Greenwich Village a variety of ‘taches, goatees, and soul patches proliferated. As we all know, Elvis Presley landed on Earth around 1954, and across the Western hemisphere, young men spontaneously sprouted sideburns. Of course, one generation’s mark of rebellion is the next decade’s badge of conformity, and after the hirsute Sixties, the Seventies marked the decline of facial hair in mainstream culture. By the Eighties, the clipped military-style mustache had become a signifier for gay men (see Freddie Mercury or Top Gun) while the beard was something the yuppie would grow, just to prove to himself that he was still boho.

In today’s post-modern, media-saturated world it’s impossible to attach any one meaning or reason to the wearing of facial hair. Athletes and musicians now generally set the trends (see Craig David’s snail-trail: proper bo), and so gay men, yuppies, rockers, and ravers often share the same look whether they like it or not. While politicians still steer clear of the fuzz (thanks to the likes of Lenin, Stalin, Castro, bin Laden, and Alderdice) the Nineties saw the largest boom in beard-growing since the 1800s. Is it a reaction to feminism? A desperate attempt to hold on to the last thing men can do and (most) women can’t? If so, it may well be at a price, as women generally seem to prefer their mates to make the effort every morning. Of course, this is arguably subject to the dictates of fashion.

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The Devil: Alive and Well in Ulster http://www.thevacuum.org.uk/issues/issues0120/issue16/is16artthedev.html http://www.thevacuum.org.uk/issues/issues0120/issue16/is16artthedev.html#respond Tue, 02 Apr 2024 10:11:54 +0000 http://www.thevacuum.org.uk/?p=174 The devil is alive and well and coming to a picnic area near you! Or so it seemed as a teenager growing up in the ‘burbs of stormy south Belfast, where rumors were rife of dark deeds taking place at pretty much any given stretch of parkland in the area.

Whether it was reports of skinned animals discovered, pentangles carved into trees, or cloaked figures seen cavorting in the dead of night, if it was a public green space then you could be fairly certain ‘devil worshippers’ were at work somewhere. Among a list of such locations said to be hotbeds of satanic activity were Belvoir Forest Park, The Giants Ring, Lisnabreena House (now Lagan College), and even the Mary Peter’s Track.

But how much of this was true? Were satanic rituals really taking place all around me? Could my next-door neighbor be supping with Beelzebub, and if so, did that explain his penchant for black polo-neck jumpers? It was time I picked up the phone to Jim Cairns, ‘Satanic cult expert from Ulster’ (People 29/02/2004), to find out.

‘We know there was devil-worshipping activity around the Cultra monument’, says Jim. ‘There were animals skinned, and it was widely believed that this was devil worship related. There were also recorded incidents in Antrim and Coleraine’.

As the author of ‘Disappeared Off the Face of the Earth,’ a book detailing his ‘first-hand experiences of witches covens in Northern Ireland and the Republic’, Jim Cairns should know. Originally from Ballyclare and today based in Kilkenny, he says he came to Satan, or rather Satan came to him, through his own ‘bitter experiences’. ‘It all opened up after a paramilitary incident, an abduction attempt on me which took place in 1994’ he explains. ‘A lot of things started to trouble me about the incident and how the paramilitaries were able to pinpoint where I was that night – only one person really knew where I would be and that was my ex-wife’.

Jim outlines how he later discovered his ex-wife ‘was involved with the IRA and a satanic cult which was masquerading as a pseudo-Christian sect. That is the one thing that the IRA and UVF have in common, membership of this satanic cult’. Um. Okay. ‘I get very specific information from Reverend Roy Magee who is a Belfast-based go-between, between the paramilitaries and their victims’, he continues. ‘A Presbyterian minister called Reverend Bradford was shot by the IRA and Reverend Roy Magee told me that he was shot because he found out about the activities of the rich and the powerful in Northern Ireland. He found out that the rich and the powerful were involved in satanic activity’.

According to Jim Cairns, this devotion to darkness blazes a highly organized trail through the whole of Northern Irish society. From the police service and the judiciary to the church and the wealthy – it appears Satan’s little helpers are just about everywhere. ‘It’s endemic at present’, he says. ‘These secret societies believe that we’re coming to the ‘end of times’ and they’re celebrating. It’s very likely top levels of the police force are involved. I don’t believe any of those top police commissioners get to that level unless they are connected in some way. I also wouldn’t be surprised if there were large numbers of clergy in Northern Ireland who proclaim to be Christians but are most certainly of the other persuasion, they’re Satanists’.

And so our conversation continues on this Devil Rides Out/Rosemary’s Baby style trajectory. There’s much talk of ‘the dark road’ and ‘covens that use drugs and mind control’, and how ‘it goes right to the Royal family’. Indeed, refer to any notorious incident to have taken place in this country over the last three decades, and you can be sure, that for Jim Cairns, there’s some sort of satanic link. The Kincora child abuse scandal, the Ormeau Park murder of Brian McDermott, the Shankill Butchers…

‘I can’t prove it, but they had all the symptoms of it, the dates on which they were carried out, and the way they were killed indicates that the Shankill Butcher murders were satanic murders’.

Tellingly, a cursory glance at Jim’s website reveals that prior to his abduction attempt in 1994, his ‘only knowledge of witchcraft or anything devilish would have been the Hammer Horror films of the sixties, i.e., Dracula and The Wicker Man.’ It’s also worth pointing out that this self-same website has links to another site, belonging to a certain individual known as David Icke.

In a way, though, it’s not hard not to accept some of the conclusions drawn by Jim Cairns. Devilry and devil-worship may indeed be all around us in one form or another. While it might be difficult to imagine, say, your bank manager embracing the bizarre philosophies established by Anton LaVey and the Church of Satan in the 1960s, praise for the dark side now pervades life in a far more media-friendly, insidious way.

It certainly manages to creep into our front rooms every night. Tune into the latest installment of ‘Evil Big Brother’ to gloat at contestants condemned to a mini-me version of hell and damnation, as brought to you by ‘Endemol’. Then there’s ‘Hell’s Kitchen’ with Gordon Ramsey, but that could just be a diabolical program. After settling down for an evening’s viewing, you might want to use your mobile, text a fellow coven member – ‘the devil makes work for idle thumbs’ you know.

The internet is another quick and convenient place to worship the devil. Simply log on, clickety-click, and you’ll be sacrificing virtual virgins before you can say Google backward. Or why not use your morning coffee break to try ‘Dante’s Inferno Test’, where through an online, multiple-choice test, ‘your purity will be judged, and you will be banished to the appropriate level of hell’.

Alternatively, you could always just go back to basics and do what I like to do – dress up in a big black cloak and head down to the park at the end of the road to scatter skinned animals about the place. Between the discarded porn and glue bags is usually a good spot. Cavorting adds to the overall effect.

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What’s He Building in There? http://www.thevacuum.org.uk/issues/issues0120/issue15/is15artwhabui.html http://www.thevacuum.org.uk/issues/issues0120/issue15/is15artwhabui.html#respond Tue, 02 Apr 2024 10:06:53 +0000 http://www.thevacuum.org.uk/?p=170 Upon being asked by The Vacuum to write an article on a local asylum, the first images that sprang to mind were from Sam Fuller’s eerie black and white 1960’s melodrama Shock Corridor. It is in this film that a journalist (played by Peter Breck) gains admission to a lunatic asylum by feigning mental illness in order to solve a murder but is subjected to electro-shock therapy and subsequently fragments, albeit rather unconvincingly. Rather, my visit to Knockbracken Healthcare Park (formerly Purdysburn Asylum) was a lot more kosher, with Communications Manager Brian McDermott stepping far beyond the call of duty to drive me around the 600-acre site and divulge much fascinating information along the way.

Purdysburn House and Estate were acquired for the purposes of a mental asylum from the unfortunately named landowner Narcissus Batt in 1894 due to the need for expansion and relocation of the original site on the Falls Road (where the maternity ward of the Royal Victoria Hospital now stands). Construction and development from this point right up to the 1960’s has left a kind of villa colony, with various self-contained units erected across the rolling countryside. However, as with many Victorian mental institutions, this air of bucolic beauty initially concealed a much more bleak reality relating to internment and incarceration.

Brian tells me ‘Phrases like ’round the bend’ come from the fact that, in Victorian times particularly, places like this were built just outside of town and just out of sight, so they were quite literally round the bend. It’s that kind of ‘out of sight, out of mind’ attitude which governed early thinking towards mental illness. In the early part of the twentieth century, you even had people like unmarried mothers institutionalized here on grounds of promiscuity, and they would’ve spent most of their lives here, which is a scary thought’.

In an effort to confront the negative connotations attached to Purdysburn, the management and clinicians decided in the early 1990s to rename it and open it up for greater use by the public. Brian describes this move as a deliberate policy to try and break down the barriers between society and mental health, which has traditionally been defined by very closed environments. Today, over 30 voluntary organizations also sit on the site, including an equestrian center, an organic farm, and an Arts Care project which emphasizes the therapeutic qualities of music, art, and dance. The population of patients at the facility, which peaked at over 1,800 between 1956 and 1957, has now been whittled down to around 300. This is largely due to changes in mental health provision in the last 15 years, with much greater emphasis being placed on alternative ways of treating people such as support in the community, rather than simply locking them up indefinitely.

I ask Brian whether or not the upheaval of the Northern Ireland conflict has had any significant effect on the mental health of the population.

‘I think there’s no doubt that the violence of the Troubles here had a major effect on people in terms of psychological trauma. We did some research with Queen’s about the subject, and what’s interesting is that it wasn’t until the ceasefires in 1994 that the full effects of that started to be realized. There was a sudden increase of people under 30 who were turning up at their GP’s with quite severe mental health problems, and the initial thinking was that these people were suffering from a form of post-traumatic stress. While the Troubles kept going, people somehow coped and went through the routines, but when it stopped a lot of people not even directly involved began blaming themselves for certain things, like wondering why their mate or neighbor had been shot and not them, and were basically unable to deal with these kinds of pressures’.

As we drive around the vast expanses of Knockbracken’s grounds, Brian points out the unfinished Shannon clinic, which is to open in January 2005 and will become Northern Ireland’s first regional secure unit.

‘At the minute if you went to court and the judge deemed that your actions were committed due to mental health problems, depending on the severity of your crime, the chances are that you would have to go to a high-security facility in Scotland because to date there hasn’t been any middle ground in the form of a secure unit for people with medium requirements. So this building will house people who are a potential danger to themselves and others, some of whom may have passed through the judicial system. It’ll also have single bedrooms and ensuite bathrooms, which is something else we’re very pleased to have broken ground on here, as opposed to the old long open wards which just weren’t environments that were conducive to any form of recovery’.

Further around the site, the Dorothy Gardiner clinic acts as a facility for acute admissions, but it is the Shimna building that provides the most stark evidence of the grim realities of mental illness. It acts as a residence for longer stay patients and is staffed by people highly specialized in dealing with instances of chronic illness and delusional behavior. A sense of catatonia permeates the building as we pass through day rooms full of disturbed-looking people suspicious of our presence, who occasionally engage us in bizarre conversation. As Communications Manager, Brian also has to deal with all manner of official complaints from such patients, including wrongful detainment. One such letter he tells me of which landed on his desk was from a patient who felt he wasn’t receiving the right form of treatment and was being held in the institution when he should have been let out to pursue his ‘career’.

‘He had copied the letter to his local MP, who was a prominent Ulster Unionist politician and high-ranking member of the Orange Order. The MP in question is a very good friend of ours, so he phoned us up to satisfy himself that this guy was being treated appropriately. So, we invited him up and sat round a table with him and the patient, who relayed his concerns. When he’d finished, his MP said ‘Can we just go over the bit about your career being impeded again? I understand that if you feel you aren’t getting the right medication and treatment you mightn’t be able to work and so on, so exactly what is it that you do?’. To which the guy replied ‘I’m the Pope!”. At which point the meeting was presumably adjourned. However, while this may provide an anecdotal aside, to witness an environment such as Shimna where people do suffer from severe problems and delusions is unsettling and also tragically sad.

Indeed, the official figures which show that 1 in 4 people in Northern Ireland suffer from some form of mental health problem each year indicate something of the fragility of the human psyche. And while structures of health and social welfare have tended to be hierarchical, bureaucratic, and detached from local communities, there seems to be a concerted effort at Knockbracken to engage with the issues on a very human level. While it still suffers from a lack of funding and certain stigmas which remain, mental health treatment appears to have evolved considerably in the past 10-15 years. Purdysburn, included for years in the Belfast vocabulary in the context of ‘Yer doin’ my head in, I’m away to Purdysburn’, is slowly shedding its negative image and becoming increasingly referred to as Knockbracken, something which Brian McDermott sees as a victory in itself.

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Living Underground http://www.thevacuum.org.uk/issues/issues0120/issue11/is11artlivund.html http://www.thevacuum.org.uk/issues/issues0120/issue11/is11artlivund.html#respond Tue, 02 Apr 2024 09:57:34 +0000 http://www.thevacuum.org.uk/?p=166 Hobbits, Teletubbies, and attention-seeking magicians have all promoted it in recent times, but this is not a new idea. Our ancestors, having weighed up the options, risked becoming dinner by sharing caves with sabre-toothed beasts in order to gain shelter from the elements and have somewhere they could hang their coats.

Even where no ready-made caves were available, civilizations started getting wise to the advantages of subterranean dwellings. Most notably in the deserts of China and North Africa, where whole communities dug down into the soft rock to create underground rooms grouped around sunken courtyards (think Luke Skywalker’s home on Tatooine). They discovered that they could live more comfortably, out of the harsh winds and extremes of temperature found on the surface, while at the same time keeping as inconspicuous as possible in a featureless terrain.

Though such habitations are still in use up to present times, (even evident in western countries, there are people living in cave dwellings on the outskirts of Granada, Spain) generally, these would be considered as ‘primitive’ and not suitable for modern living. This idea started to change in the 1960/70’s when North Americans were getting increasingly edgy about the escalation of the cold war and the fuel crisis. Experiments and developments in alternative construction techniques occurred, which, while never tested to destruction by those pesky Russians, were able to prove certain, clear advantages in terms of energy conservation.

So, if you are interested in becoming an environmentally conscious, nouveau-troglodyte, the principles are as follows: While air temperature fluctuates on a daily and seasonal basis, the temperature beneath the earth’s surface is relatively stable and should be well above freezing even in winter. The deeper you go, the more this proves to be true, but even at depths of little more than a foot, it starts becoming useful. Also worth noting (at the risk of sounding boring) that, because of its sheer mass, there is also a time delay – when the earth is at its coldest the air has already started to heat up and vice versa. Yes, that’s right, you guessed it, the earth is acting as a ‘temperature moderator’ or ‘thermal flywheel’. Some fancy graphs would probably be useful at this stage to validate these claims but to be honest, I don’t think The Vacuum is that sort of publication.

So, building a house underground or even partially ‘earth sheltered’ can help keep it warm in winter and cool in summer, and therefore offer great reductions on fuel bills against that of your average surface-dweller’s gaff. Because of lack of exposed surfaces or features, there are also savings to be made on maintenance costs (especially if you keep a goat) as well as time saved by not having to consider what color to paint the walls (although you will have to think of a name for the goat).

Living Underground

While in the long term this looks good financially, it’s time to point out one of the disadvantages because initial building costs will almost certainly be higher than a conventional construction, typically by 10-20%. How come? Well, first, you got to dig a great big hole. Bigger than the house itself to allow work to be carried out all around it. Then you got to construct a massive structure to take the weight of all that earth. The most suitable material is reinforced concrete for floor, walls, and roof. This then has to be completely waterproofed on the outer surface. It is critical to get this right at the outset because, believe me, you don’t want to be confronted with the job of trying to locate and repair a leak the next winter. No… really. Insulation is still required in decent quantities if you want to avoid condensation problems on the inside, which I presume you do. Besides, a layer of something is needed to protect the waterproofing from punctures, and this will do the trick nicely. Also, it is a good idea to provide a bit of the old drainage to the base of the walls before you backfill. So, only once the whole structure is covered in earth can you relax, sow your wild oats and let nature take its course. Yes… tucked up in the very womb of Mother Nature, sounds cosy but what about light and ventilation? Remember, this is supposed to be Home Sweet Home, not Tomb Sweet Tomb.

A lot depends on the room layout, which in turn is influenced by location, location, location. In basic terms, a well-drained, south-facing slope would be ideal. That allows the principal rooms to be arranged in a linear fashion, not too deep into the hillside, with plenty of glazing on the sunny side, providing warmth, natural light, fresh air, and views. How about two stories…with a terrace? Now that sounds nice.

If such a site is not available, it can be partially created by building above ground and simply covering the entire structure with earth afterward. This is not cheating. Failing that, a courtyard-type plan could be used, with rooms opening into one or more lightwells, though don’t be expecting dramatic views with this one.

The thermal mass of the concrete structure can turn out to be very useful for passive solar heating, absorbing energy by day, which will be radiated back into the space at night.

Warm, stale air can be extracted through a heat exchanger to pre-heat other stuff, like fresh air or domestic hot water. Long-term energy-saving features like these can soon outweigh the initial cost and energy put into creating the building. Underground living is good for those who like to plan ahead. Which is just as well because when it comes to altering or extending the building, you are fairly stuffed!

If designed properly, an earth-sheltered building has the ability to become almost invisible in the landscape. On the one hand, this makes it an ideal solution for sensitive rural locations. On the other hand, it is equally likely that planners in this part of the world will be gripped by fear when confronted with something unfamiliar. And on the other hand (I’ve got three hands), how do you find your house in the dark, especially perhaps after a wee drink? Imagine getting the wrong front door and waking up next to a badger? Such are the perils to bear in mind.

So, if you feel the urge to settle down and dig in, like the idea of a safe, cosy home with wildlife grazing/fighting/mating on your roof, and don’t mind children pointing and shouting ‘look at the funny mole-man mummy’, then underground living may be for you.

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A.R.E. – Acronyms, Community Arts and Stiff Little Fingers http://www.thevacuum.org.uk/issues/issues0120/issue11/is11artartres.html http://www.thevacuum.org.uk/issues/issues0120/issue11/is11artartres.html#respond Tue, 02 Apr 2024 09:49:31 +0000 http://www.thevacuum.org.uk/?p=162 Art & Research Exchange (A.R.E.) was always a mouthful. But at the time that the organisation was formed in Belfast in 1978, conceptual art and rigorous theoretical debate were very much the guiding principles that dominated the vanguard visual arts, certainly amongst the younger generation of artists and the more radically-minded veterans. In no small way, the name reflected and symbolised that ethos. Looking back, the designation appears and sounds absurdly portentous.

Nevertheless, for me personally, ‘radicalised’ by the simultaneous indoctrination and enlightenment from the teachings of the Fine Art course at the College of Art in Belfast, ARE seemed a natural and timely vehicle for driving forward a set of philosophical and theoretical propositions that had been distinctly lacking in the mainstream arts infrastructure that permeated the city in those pre-Thatcher years.

So what was Art & Research Exchange? Originally, the organisation materialised and made its presence felt as the Northern Ireland workshop of the Free International University (F.I.U.), established in Germany some years earlier by the artist, Joseph Beuys, and the Nobel Prize-winning author, Heinrich Böll. The FIU, as its title suggests, had aspirations to become a global network of creative groups and individuals involved in interdisciplinary research and creative development; crossing boundaries between art and community, politics and economics, history and culture.

ARE was to be the FIU’s outpost in Belfast, and initially, as I understand it, the workshop operated as a standing conference, where events took place peripatetically; generating debate, agitating for bureaucratic change, and generally getting involved in ‘consciousness-raising’. In the context of the growing war pervading the North and with the Arts Council of Northern Ireland (A.C.N.I) doing everything, it seemed, to studiously avoid embracing the conflict as a politically-charged source of artistic inspiration for the visual arts, the intellectual work of the FIU/ARE was, for me, a very welcome initiative.

As I remember it, there were three key figures in the evolution of ARE, and without whose dedication and doggedness I would not be writing this short article. In my mind, the most prolific was the indomitable Belinda Loftus. An English woman, with good old socialist principles, she was a fastidious researcher and energetic writer with a passion for social anthropology and vernacular culture. Her unflappable energy in those early years, and belief in making the impossible attainable, resonates with me now. Alongside Belinda, came the Scottish artist, Alistair MacLennan: one of the most extraordinary individuals I have ever had the privilege to be associated with. Where Belinda was the pragmatist, Alistair harnessed the ideological rudder of the ship, and in the dark days when resources, moral support, and conviction were low (especially when Belfast was being literally ripped apart and art seemed an irrelevance), this guy, with his quiet humility, provided the sense of purpose. The third protagonist that I recall, was the German artist cum community activist, Rainer Pagel, another interloper, who had taken to the politics of Northern Ireland like a fish to water. Rainer was a great fixer, both in a practical sense, when it came to things like the electrics in a building, but also as an intermediary, talking to funders, community workers, and a whole host of opinion-formers across the political, cultural, and bureaucratic divides. I think it was his detached Germanic perspective that allowed him to trespass on the complex cultural sensitivities in Belfast without any self-consciousness or caution.

So what did ARE do? When I became involved, first as a naive but enthusiastic volunteer and then as its first director in late 1979, the organisation had not long acquired the second and third floors of 22 Lombard Street as a base (An awkward and, on reflection, totally unsuitable premises in the centre of town). But that aside, there was a real energy to the place.

The artspeak said “ARE promotes an integrated programme of exhibitions and workshop activities that contextualise contemporary art practice within the framework of local, national, and international cultural developments.” In reality, the organisation housed two unexceptional exhibition spaces – which intermittently were used for seminars, conferences, and rehearsal space for wonderful bands like the Idiots and Stiff Little Fingers – a screen printing workshop/design studio, photographic darkroom, two artists studios, and eventually the first headquarters of the Artists Collective of Northern Ireland (A.C.N.I) and Circa contemporary art magazine (C.C.A.M).

The exhibition programme was very much glocal in its orientation. On one hand, showcasing the work of emerging Irish artists working in more traditional media, like Micky Donnelly, Dermot Seymour, Fergus Delargy, and Locky Morris as well as those artists committed to more expansive uses of performance and time-based media, including John Carson, Alistair MacLennon, Willie Doherty, and Adrian Hall. Complimenting this plethora of work by resident artists, (a number exhibiting in a one-person context for the first time) ARE was dedicated to providing a platform for many UK and international artists whose work – once again operating across a broad range of media – resonated with the organisation’s sense of purpose and place. Significant performances were staged by Dale Franks (Australia), Zbignew Warpecowski (Poland), the collective – Mutus Liber (Italy) and various UK artists including Mona Hatoum, Slivia Ziranek, Richard Layzell, and The Bow Gamelan Ensemble. This time-based work was complemented by exhibitions and events by many other leading artists included Barbara Kruger (USA), John Blake (Netherlands), and UK artists, Helen Chadwick, Tony Rickaby, and James Reilly. Punctuating this work by individual artists was a regular programme of exhibitions and events which explored more popular and, arguably, more accessible takes on visual culture including, for instance: a major survey of image-based political propaganda in Ireland; American movie posters of the 1950s; a review of comic culture; an exhibition of Irish Trade Union banners and a survey of poster works for bill-posting.

The idea, in essence, was to work across artistic disciplines, but just as importantly, to forge some kind of dialogue between the apparently disparate worlds of fine art practice and community-based art and culture. Certainly, artists used the spaces and community groups and individuals used the spaces – to great effect – but in reality, there was little cross-fertilisation. Generally speaking, artists, especially those older-generation artists cultivated by an ultra-conservative Arts Council, viewed ARE’s forages into community art and politics as a contamination of the artistic canon. Conversely, community groups hardened by communal conflict and the inevitable disenfranchisement that political violence brings with it, were, for the most part, hugely suspicious of bourgeois artists making indulgent art while Belfast burned.

In my view, these polarised circumstances weren’t helped either, with the symbolic introduction of state subsidy, which appeared to be a belated effort by the Labour government to mollify dissension and invigorate ‘community-relations’. In 1978 Lord Melchett, the then Minister for Education, announced a paltry new fund of £100,000 per annum for the development of a programme called Community Arts. Of course, this term had been widely used – and funded – in Britain for a number of years, but like all ‘mainland’ success stories, Northern Ireland was also to be subjected to this exciting and ground-breaking initiative.

Melchett said of the new phenomenon: “I have a feeling that trying to define community art is about as difficult as defining art itself, but I see a need for two related developments. First to encourage existing artistic activity, exhibitions of the visual arts, concerts, plays and so on, to expand into the more deprived and isolated areas of Northern Ireland where they would not normally be available and to do so in a way which encourages people who would not normally go and see or listen to, to start doing so. Second I believe the need to do more to encourage the artistic efforts of people living in deprived areas, particularly where the artistic activity, where ever it is, is especially relevant or linked to the lives and experiences of local people”. Laudable stuff. But consider the riposte from the then Director of the Arts Council: “The concern of those who may feel that these advances have taken place at the expense of quality in the existing institutions can be allayed. They have been made possible by the provision of new money from the Department of Education specifically negotiated for these purposes: none of the major institutions have been curtailed to facilitate them”. The de facto mantra had now been officially formalised; there was to be community arts for the lumpenproletariat and high art for the cultured few.

Against this backdrop, there is no doubt that the long-term aspirations and financial security of Art & Research Exchange were significantly compromised. The organisation inevitably got locked into an ideological battle with the Arts Council as to where its funding should come from. The Art Committee, led by the Art Director, Brian Ferran was only too pleased to palm ARE off onto the Community Arts Committee, and the Community Arts Committee, serviced by their hapless new Development Officers, John Morrow and Imelda Foley were determined that if funds were going to be forthcoming, ARE would have to demonstrate its ‘community’ credentials, in terms of bums on seats and geographical catchment. Fuck the art content.

So it was in a climate of attrition and institutional wariness (and weariness) that, I would argue, ARE articulated its portfolio of activities, propped up by a revenue funding base which was tiny by comparison to the resources that were made available to those arts organisations which followed mainstream models.

Yet, for me, it was in this uncomfortable space – this falling between two bureaucratic stools – which ironically strengthened ARE’s dynamic and philosophical prowess. It was also this dissenting framework which created the energy to enable the organisation to programme some very interesting and occasionally memorable, vanguard exhibitions and events, intimated earlier; bringing to Belfast for the first time a wealth of alternative visual art practice in mixed media, installation, video and live art. Equally significant, ARE was one of the first spaces in the country to stage a coherent series of exhibitions which foregrounded more popular artforms such as photography, comic culture, poster art, and other community-based practice, in a serious and curatorially uncompromising way.

Just as importantly, the organisation was the galvanising force behind the establishment of the Artists Collective of Northern Ireland and Circa art magazine. The former, a democratic artists support and lobby group, and the latter, a pan-Irish art journal that provided a critical context in which to examine contemporary visual culture. These two platforms were significant catalysts in driving forward a new agenda for the visual arts in Northern Ireland: one that was not predicated on personal connections and patronage; one that recognised that social and political imperatives were an essential part of visual arts discourse; and one that offered more democratic and transparent opportunities for the growing number of artists emerging in the city.

How any of this stacks up now I have no idea as I have not lived in Belfast for 15 years, but in the spirit of the premature death of a significant icon, perhaps ARE’s greatest attribute was that it was short-lived. It did not last long enough to become institutionalised. Mischievously speaking, if it did achieve anything beyond an artistic legacy, it was as a conceptual and irritating thorn in the butt of an arts establishment, which had long since given up caring about the aspirations of its non-aligned constituents.

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My Beef – Shouting at Christians http://www.thevacuum.org.uk/issues/issues0120/issue10/is10artmybeef.html http://www.thevacuum.org.uk/issues/issues0120/issue10/is10artmybeef.html#respond Tue, 02 Apr 2024 09:44:25 +0000 http://www.thevacuum.org.uk/?p=158 Lately I have started shouting back at Christians. I can tell you exactly when it started. Some months ago I was walking through Portadown minding my own business when the drone of praise suddenly deadened the air, for the Whitewell Metropolitan Tabernacle porta-pulpit was back in town. The porta-pulpit is like one of those trailers country DJs own, with ‘Soupy’s disco’ or (more latterly) ‘DJ Soupy’ on the side, except that this trailer rolls only for Jesus. “We are all sinners!” yelled some fat guy in a sweater as I walked past and for some reason, after 34 years of ignoring this stuff completely, I turned to him and said “I’m not, and I don’t like having your religion forced down my throat.

“Ah!” the fat guy in a sweater said with sombre earnestness. “I see you’re not saved.” Yes – it was exactly at that point that I started shouting. It all came out, the years of judgements and condescension and insults, that time in primary school when the headmaster told us God sank the Titanic because a baggage porter said he couldn’t, all the sex I never had because nice Tandragee girls don’t do that sort of thing – he got it with both barrels. And then something amazing happened. The fat guy in the sweater turned around, packed up his porta-pulpit and left. If only I’d always known it was that easy I might have had an easier time growing up an atheist in Northern Ireland.


I have no idea why my parents don’t believe in God – they just say they don’t and that “there’s no point making a religion out of it”. Of course there are plenty of people who lose their faith but to be born into the faithless is something else entirely. I have no sense of disappointment, disillusionment or loss, no sense of the hole in my soul where Jesus should be. I’ve also long realised that I’m an atheist for the same reason most people around me are Christians i.e. I was raised that way – so there’s not much point in claiming some special insight. Few people are demonstrably religious and I’ve never felt the need to be demonstrably atheistic. At school I mumbled through a million assemblies and yawned through a thousand RE lessons just like everybody else. I was extremely curious about this strange extra dimension my friends had to their lives, with their BB football teams and youth clubs and trips to Bangor, but when you have been warned from infancy that the Bible is ‘just a story’ no amount of scripture or ceremony can bring you in to faith’s circular argument. Regular attempts were made to convert me and they all went straight over my head.

It was only when I got into my late teens that Christians started to annoy me. By that point I had noticed that while I was morally obliged to ‘respect their beliefs’ the reverse did not apply. As alcohol and fornication loomed over the spotty horizon my friends acquired a Stakeknife-level expertise at leading double lives, usually managing to wash the vomit out of their hair in time for church on Sunday, although any straying from the path could always be blamed on the heathen in their midst. I also had my first up-close experience of real, nasty and politically-motivated religious intolerance. Arnold Hatch, a UUP councillor and governor at our school, tried to have Seamus Heaney removed from the literature syllabus on grounds of ‘blasphemy’. When some of us kicked up a fuss over this we were slapped down in short order (people have been expelled for getting Portadown College in the papers, don’t you know.) After that I noticed the nastiness everywhere: a Free Presbyterian friend who only shopped in Free Presbyterian shops; the chemistry teacher who wouldn’t keep evolution textbooks in the science library; the fact that everybody hated the Methodists and that the feeling was mutual; the Portadown priest who introduced my girlfriend to every available Catholic male in a ten mile radius; the Brethren father who called me up to enquire as to the whereabouts of his daughter by asking “What sort of person are you?” I wouldn’t have minded that one so much if she’d actually slept with me.

Christianity in Northern Ireland is above all else a cult of respectability and so adult life only raises the stakes. One by one those around you fall. Formerly wild couples suddenly marry in church and order you to do likewise, relatives worry rather too loudly about how you’ll raise your children, friends and colleagues and strangers express medieval opinions that you must agree with – and finally, the last straw, a fat man in a sweater shouts his judgements and insults at the blameless shoppers of Portadown. He made me see the light. Because the simple truth is that Christians are just fucking rude. And from now on, I’m going to be rude right back.

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